Hello, how may I be of service?

Working in customer support exposed me to a wide variety of people, with wide variety of intelligence quotients. I know that it's politically correct to say that intelligence has nothing to do with how descent a person is, but it's actually true.

The strange thing though is how little education has with real-life intelligence and the ability to solve problems. Life saving surgeons and fearsome lawyers often panic in front of a small sat-nav system (which we call GPS here in Israel). It's even more weird watching self-proclaimed electrical engineers and members of the IT crowd struggle with consumer electronics and laptops. In my honest opinion, a technician that won't even try to look for a solution and instead call customer support - is not a good technician.

Anyway, here are some real quotes from conversations me and my colleagues had in the past 3 months:

Customer: My PDA is not working!
Support: How did it happen?
Customer: It got a little wet.
Support: Okay, that maybe we can fix. What do you mean by "a little"?
Customer: It fell into a swimming pool.

Custmer: This GPS can only be operated by IT personnel.
Support: I am IT personnel - how may I assist you?

Customer: This GPS is too simplistic.

Customer: This GPS is dangerous, it almost caused a traffic accident.
Support: (muttering quietly) GPS is cannot replace your eyes or common sense

Customer: My GPS is getting fixed, but I need it! I cannot live without it!
Support: How old are you?
Customer: 45, what does it have to do with it?
Support: So you lived 35 years without one. I'm sure you can handle one more week.

Customer: My laptop is getting fixed but my whole work is there!
Support: It was there. The hard drive was broken and was replaced.

Customer: My laptop was installed in Spanish.

Customer: My laptop was installed in French.

Customer: What is this language?!

Customer: Can I have my laptop installed in Vietnamese?

Customer: How can I install my laptop if I cannot read English?
Support: Study.

Customer: I bought my new laptop and I cracked the monitor a day later. Replace it!
Support: Really?

Customer: How do I use the internet?
Support: We provide technical support, not computer lectures.

Customer: Why can't I connect to the internet?
Support: Do you have your wireless network adapter on?
Customer: Yes.
Support: Do you have a wireless network at your home?
Customer: What is a wireless network?

Customer: Your products are too expensive
Support: No one put a gun to your head and forced you to buy

Customer: You are very helpful
Support: Thank you, I try

Customer: You are not helpful at all
Support: Thank you, I try

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